Guanyin's Journey to the West Chapter 29: The Wedding


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There is too much to be summarized.
At the moment when Zhu Bajie doesn't let go of the cloth of my dress, kneeling down and crying, during which I am about to hit his soul out of the celestial circle, dilemmas we are facing comes to my mind.
For example, all four of us will be held responsible for Sha Wujing's giving-up of the journey, although this is not my fault at all.
Another example. The Golden Cicada still remembers me somehow. Possibly, he will be accusing me until he feels happy.
Another example. The Golden Cicada might have seen through this bullshit fake villa at the beginning so that he acts silly on purpose.
Another example...
I consider so much within 1/10000 second that I decide to let him pass and keep my character setting as a coy girl.
Sun Wukong hears something wrong is going on here, so he flies here with his cudgel, standing by our side. He asks why we are in this weird posture: 'What's this?!'
I say: 'If you want to know about the detail, it is probably...I said angrily, and he just knelt down.'
Samantabhadra aside says: 'I think it must be a spell. Everything is possible.'
I stare at him harshly: 'I asked him to fuck off! Who will set the spell word as "fuck off"!'
Samantabhadra is shocked and then he murmurs: 'I was just joking...'
He has something in his mind and he looks at me. Even without saying it, I know he means "We haven't told a joke for thousands of year".
Sun Wukong scratches his head and he just raises the cudgel high in the air to threaten Zhu Bajie: 'Do you let go or not?'
Zhu Bajie cries out: 'At the moment when she cursed me, I have decided that she was the only person for me in my life. It is the most precious thing that I met her. I will not let go even if you beat me! AH!'
Samantabhadra is watching the fun: 'Yeah, it must be a spell now.'
Manjusri says coldly: 'This is not funny.'
Samantabhadra really wanted to be humorous but now he is despondent after being denied twice.
Sun Wukong couldn't think of a way, so he just shouts: 'Do you let go or not?' Then, the cudgel of thousands of kilos smashes down. Rainbows come along with storms.
Zhu Bajie hurries to evade by rolling away at the speed of lightning. It is hard to imagine how a fat pig like him can be so swift.
He was obviously scared of the cudgel since now he is pressing his fat heavy body onto a tree trunk. He pants and pats his chest: 'What the heck did this monkey do!'
Manjusri wants to play jokes on him so he swings his hand after which the tree Zhu Bajie is on just cracks down. Zhu Bajie loses balance and falls off into the pond, spilling a large splash of water.
Sun Wukong goes to the pond where Zhu Bajie is struggling to get out. He is a swimmer, but he cannot get out. Cold water enters his mouth and he cannot stop trying to catch something.
I say to Manjusri: 'Stop this or he will be a drowned pig.'
Manjusri sneers and the pressure on Zhu Bajie's shoulders goes away. He hurries to tumble up and crawls out of the pond with his cold and wet body. He drags his painful belly to the grassland and vomits out the cold water. It turns out to be sticky black sludge.
Sun Wukong has Eye of Truth that he immediately knows that someone among us cast a spell that any of four of us is a powerful deity. He shouts at Zhu Bajie: 'Bajie, you deserve this! You just broke the precepts and is punished by the Dao!'
Who knows what happened to the pig today. He seems to be possessed by a love deity and he wipes off the water on his face and says: 'If love is a crime, I will break the law.'
Sun Wukong shivers out of anger: 'You even found such an excuse...'
To be honest, I think Zhu Bajie is right. If love is a crime, it will be too bad. However, the precondition is: if you are just a mortal or a deity in Heaven, you have lots of time to spend on love. Here in our Western Paradise, our standard is like how universities pick students. We have a requirement. If you want to come, you must obey the rules here.
To say it in a simple way: The political stand in Western Paradise is everyone equal and no partial love, so we do not want greed, anger, or partial love. We respect each other and work toward the final enlightenment for all. Unlike Heaven, we won't sentence someone to death if he just broke a bottle.
However, you cannot get both advantages from Heaven and Western Paradise. There is no such good thing in the world. Our entrance has a requirement and we don't want a cheating student.
Yet, we cannot stand straight in this incident because we started this sting operation and their misappropriation is found. How embarrassed we are!
Zhu Bajie has no will to go on the journey as he has called Lishan Mother "Mom". He just hasn't decided who he wants to marry. He thinks he is going to quit the journey that he dares to talk back against Sun Wukong: 'Shifu has said that although he wouldn't stay, he wouldn't stop any of us from staying! What are you doing here?!'
Sun Wukong: '...'
After a while, Sun Wukong puts away his cudgel and says: 'You sound right.'
He shortens the cudgel and tucks it in his ear: "Since you have decided, I am not your fellow anymore. I cannot regulate your action now.'
Zhu Bajie sighs from relief: 'Then—'
Before he can finish his sentence, Sun Wukong suddenly picks him up by pinching his ears: 'I am going to beat you such an ungrateful bastard! When you were in trouble in Fulin Mountain, Guanyin bodhisattva helped you out and asked you to guard the scriptures taker to Western Paradise. Now you haven't walked many steps and you are going to stop here!'
'What a carefree man you are! Don't you remember your ex-wife in the Gao Village almost killed herself? Are you going to stay here for a new girl?! There is no such good thing! I will teach you a lesson first!'
Right after, he glares at Zhu Bajie fiercely and raises one fist, going to punch him with a fast speed.
Zhu Bajie is usually a slow creature but when he is in a life-threatening situation, he is fast as well. He gives up his ears and rolls away, hiding behind Manjusri and Samantabhadra as he yells: 'Since you aren't my fellow now, why do you hit me!?'
Sun Wukong sneers: 'Since I am not your fellow now, I will not have a fellowship for you! I will beat you like beating a yokai! You have seen it before. Yokais who were under my cudgel had become pieces! Their skulls are already smashed underground!'
Zhu Bajie was confident when he thought he was okay, but as Sun Wukong says this, he becomes anxious: 'What did I do wrong?!'
Sun Wukong says: 'Shifu has told you so many times that a monk will not be moved by fortunes or beautiful girls! Now you have forgot your promise! I will beat an ungrateful yokai like you!'
The little monk runs in and he hurries to pull Sun Wukong aside: 'Wukong, I told you to check what was going on. Why are you doing this?'
Sun Wukong laughs out of anger and points at Zhu Bajie: 'This idiot has never changed! He again wants to cause trouble to human girls! He has forgotten how he left the girl of the Gaos behind! In my view, we shouldn't let him come along with us at the beginning! From time to time, he wants enlightenment, and then he wants fortunes and beautiful girls in his arms!'
Xuan Zang hurries to stop him and says: 'Just let him go, Wukong. If he wants to stay, just let him. There will be so many difficulties on our journey. If he is not sincere, we will not have a harmonic journey either. We will be wasting our effort even if we arrive at Western Paradise.'
Sun Wukong glares at Zhu Bajie and hums: 'You are lucky! I am not going to do anything now!'
After that, he waves his hand and walks to a tree for its shadow.
At this time, Lishan Mother brings Sha Wujing here and she sees this. 'Oh? This little Zhanglao married someone before?'
Zhu Bajie again is on alert.
Lishan Mother says on purpose: 'All my girls are good girls. You left your previous wife. How will you be nice to my girl? I believe this Sand Zhanglao is better.'
Sha Wujing respectfully bows and says: 'Please listen to my words, old lady. I wanted to stay and labor for your family to return the favor, but I believe that your daughter is right that I should protect the Tang monk to the West not because I seek enlightenment but because my shifu has been a good person for ten lives. I am willing to work for him. I just swept your yard and watered the farmlands as my return for the girl's favor.'
Samantabhadra says: 'Sha Zhanglao, you are such a kind and sincere person. You will be identified among buddhas in Western Paradise for sure. If it is fated, we will meet again.'
Sha Wujing looks at him and he suddenly laughs: 'If so, I wish you a stable life.' Then, he salutes her and walks to Xuan Zang.
Lishan Mother was going to say something, but she couldn't because Sha Wujing is a sincere monk. She turns to Zhu Bajie and says: 'So, four of you have decided that he will stay here?'
Sun Wukong waves one hand: 'Just him. Why don't we let him get married today and bow his mother-in-law and his shifu!'
Lishan Mother says: 'Sure, today is a good day. Why don't we have a wedding today? Zhu Zhanglao come with me.'
Then, she picks up Zhu Bajie and drags him to the main hall.
Xuan Zang is anxious as he sees this: 'Wait, did they leave like this?'
Sun Wukong sneers: 'Don't worry, shifu. He will have to leave with us anyway.'
The little monk is confused: 'He will be married here. How can he leave with us?'
Sun Wukong points at three of us: 'Look at these girls! They all hate him!'
After that, he just walks away, leaving the little monk looking at us in a daze. Then, the little monk turns to where Zhu Bajie is and chases after Sun Wukong: 'Should we be in the wedding?'
None of the monks are here now. Manjusri says: 'I bet one soul-returning dan that there is more drama to be watched at Lishan Mother's side.'
Samantabhadra says: 'I don't gamble.'
Manjusri says: '...Guanyin, how about you?'
I: 'Oh, all my dans have been wasted by my disciple. I don't have one for you if I lose.'
Manjusri is confused: 'What? I know he can waste a lot of things, but why did he eat soul-returning dans? He cannot eat that randomly.'
I sigh: 'How did you think he survived from your Blue Lion? He almost melted in it!'
Although Huian never listens to me, I worry about him more when he is not by my side.
We chat and walk into the main hall. Zhu Bajie has bowed to the silver candles three times and Lishan Mother says: 'What a trouble! If I give you my first girl, my second girl will blame me. If I give you my second girl, my third girl will blame me. What do I do?'
As she is speaking, Manjusri says: 'Heh, she has such a great imagination.'
After a while, Lishan Mother says again: 'All my girls are good tailors. They each have sewed a pearl shirt. You will marry the one whose pearl shirt you can put on.'
Samantabhadra is a little slow. This plot is not on our outline, so he is confused. He looks at us and asks: 'Did she tell you this? How do I not know this?'
I: '...Why are you so serious? You are so cute.'
Samantabhadra says: 'Do you have an extra one? Lend me one!'
He is exactly like my classmate when I went to school on Earth who always asked me for last night's homework to copy in the morning.
Manjusri throws him a porcelain bottle: 'Just transform this.'
Samantabhadra says: 'If he wakes up from this, he will find himself in a bottle! He will be canned pork! How pitiful!'
Manjusri says: '...You are so kind and cute.'
Well, since he is so serious that we each find a rope and transform it to a shirt for Zhu Bajie to put on.
When we are putting the shirts on Zhu Bajie, Manjusri says: 'When do you have time to bring your disciple to my Wutai Mountain? My Blue Lion really likes that kid.'
I say: 'It has been so many years! He is already a tall man now. He is not a kid anymore.'
Manjusri is surprised and smiles: 'Yeah, time is time. I have lived for too long to notice these.'
As Zhu Bajie is putting on the shirts and he hears us talking, he says confused: 'What are you two sisters talking about? Why do I not understand?'
Samantabhadra calms him: 'It is okay. I don't understand either.'
Lishan Mother thinks him greedy that he puts on all three shirts. She laughs: 'Oh? You want all three of my girls?'
Zhu Bajie laughs: 'Mother, they all like me. If you don't marry them to me, they will feel sad.'
Lishan Mother says: 'You can keep your dream. Now, bow to the sky and the earth.'
Zhu Bajie walks to Samantabhadra with a silly smile to hold his hand. Samantabhadra evades and Zhu Bajie falls over. It hurts him, but he still looks up and says: 'Ay, sister, what are you doing? I know you don't feel comfortable when I am going to marry you all, but I will treat you very nice. They are both your sister who are different from women outside. You will take care of each other in the future.'
...How confident this pig yokai is.
I am looking forward to seeing how shamed he is when he sees again us in Western Paradise.
Zhu Bajie is too fat to get up, so he just makes fun of himself: 'Hehehehe, if wife is so shy, then I shall bow to the sky and the earth right away!'
Samantabhadra: '...I think Manjusri is right. We should not only prohibit ugly colleagues from crying, we should also ban them from telling jokes.'
Zhu Bajie bows to the sky and the earth. He stands up giggling and is going to catch Manjusri's hand. Manjusri is a radical. Samantabhadra will walk away if you want to catch his hand, but for Manjusri, he will kill you right away.
Before Zhu Bajie can reach him, the pearl shirt on him suddenly flaps. Ropes tie him so much that they have gone into his flesh as they almost cut off his body through the fat belly. Everything becomes a void. A villa disappears. Manjusri kicks at the bulged belly of Zhu Bajie and kicks him away. Zhu Bajie crashes into a one-hundred-year-old tree and falls off to a bush. His painful scream has no end and Manjusri finally stops.
Manjusri despises Zhu Bajie and dusts the corner of his shirt which area has been touched by Zhu Bajie: 'We shall go back now.'
Lishan Mother hangs Zhu Bajie up high to a tree branch and says to us: 'What merit it is! Let's finish this difficulty together.'
Manjusri shows no politeness to her and says indifferently: 'Do it yourself.'
Samantabhadra is gentle but he follows after Manjusri: 'Go ahead.'
I: '...Bye.'
Lishan Mother thought she would be a friend of us after this incident, but we all hate her now. she looks at me: 'Guanyin bodhisattva, it is all your merit. I will report to Buddha according to the facts.'
...My merit?
My merit of teaching the other two guys to cross-dress? My merit to open a new world to Samantabhadra?
After a while, Lishan Mother leaves. Manjusri says madly: 'Was she laughing? She was laughing!'
Samantabhadra tries to comfort him: 'It is okay. Maybe she was laughing at Zhu Bajie. She might not be laughing at you.'
Zhu Bajie is hung in the tree and he stomps the air fruitlessly: 'Sisters, what's going on! What are you talking about down there? I cannot hear you! Hurry to release me!'
I look up at him and say: 'We have a sister who just left.'
Samantabhadra pats his dress and says: 'Sorry, we are all men.'
Zhu Bajie: '???'
Manjusri is a radical and he says purposely: 'You'd better check what is under the dress when you see a pretty girl in the future.' Then, he shows his real identity, a handsome cold bald man. He makes a Zen gesture by his lips, speaking to Zhu Bajie: 'Amitabha...'
Zhu Bajie sees a beauty suddenly become a tall and strong bald man. He glares his eyes big. I think I hear something cracked. Maybe it is a vein in his brain.
Samantabhadra says: 'I like my new dress and new look. I put my effort into them. I will not take them off.'
Why don't you go back to your Emei Mountain to show your dress to your disciples and others?
Zhu Bajie wants to kill himself being hung in the tree. He looks at us despondently. His eyes used to be filled with hopes but now with distress. He shivers: 'You...'
Manjusri: 'I am going back to Wutai Mountain.'
I: 'I am going back to Nanhai.'
Samantabhadra is still lost in his new gears and he says to me excitedly: 'Can I go to Nanhai with you? I want to see if your disciple can recognize me!'
I look at him coldly: 'You are not welcome.'
Samantabhadra: '...'
Again he looks at Manjusri: 'How about I go to Wutai—'
Before he can finish his words, Manjusri disappears.
He looks at the place where Manjusri was and he turns to me, shaking his head: 'Well, I shall go back to my Emei Mountain.'
Who knows and before he walks away, he suddenly pauses and looks at me excitedly. He pulls out a pen from the pocket on his chest: 'He can write poems! So can I!'
I look at him, not knowing what is going on. He writes on a rock: Lishan Mother doesn't miss the secular world...
Oh? Is he going to write about Lishan Mother? For what? To criticize her for teaching us to cross-dress?
Soon, before I can laugh, he writes another line: Nanhai Guanyin comes down...
As soon as I see my name, all my goose skin rises. This incident was born out of our sting operation and now he is going to spread this to everyone!
Immediately, I want to leave here.
Unexpectedly, a black faced bear is standing behind me silently. His eyes glare big and his teeth outward. His bloody mouth is open as if he is going to swallow me.
This black bear knows nothing, but he is a horror star.
Then, he roars and catches my shoulders with his paws, shouting at me with a voice which can shake mountains and rivers:
'Bodhisattva! Something is wrong! Come back to Nanhai with me!'
I say calmly: 'What are you talking about? Tell me more!'
He is black like coal, and only his teeth are reflecting sharp lights. He shivers: 'Ye, ye, yes...'
Whenever he stutters, I feel anxious for him. His top teeth and bottom teeth are colliding to make a sound, so he just cannot speak a proper word out.
To be honest, human language is his foreign language. He forgets how to speak it whenever he is nervous.
His teeth are fighting against each other and I doubt if he is going to bite off his tongue. He finally shouts:
'Huian Xingzhe is back!'
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